The OMG Gang

It’s funny to me how someone’s very existence can just piss another person smooth off. I try not to take it personal but I know it is. Being a kid is sometimes REALLY HARD but being an adult, pretty much sucks, all the time. As an adult your not just making a living, you watch all your money go out the door on bills. You do laundry all the time to just always discover, there's still Laundry in the sorting baskets. You cook, well, because you have to eat but it always takes twice as long to clean up. I’ve been told I picked my parents just like I’ve been told my kids picked me, I’m sure there are many things my parents didn’t want to do as parents that their parents did and of course the same for me and in line with the natural course of life. The same I’m sure with my daughters also. Just one secret to share with you, pick all the good things from your parents and don’t be afraid to use them and cherish them, to expand upon them and make them even better. Make them stronger, wiser...

Today 23 years ago I welcomed my first child into this world! It was such a beautiful day and has been ever since. I so love my Leslie Anne Gass who was named after this character on a soap opera and of course with Lisa and Lorrie in mind. The day she was born, Baby Jessica was rescued from the well, and 15 days after her due date. She was a huge baby and we couldn't even button the top buttons of her dress. She was my biggest baby, my first love and still my sweetest joy. I love you Leslie Anne Gass, and I can't wait for the day that we welcome your 1st baby into this world = )

I just wanted to Blog again and not do it in anger. . . There are too many things in life that I have no control over and I can't let HER keep me from happiness. After all then she's winning. Wow where has the time gone. . . Leslie Anne is married and in ID with her sweet husband David and they have a little one on the way, IT will be here in April, what a sweet month to have a baby. Bethaney is completely certified to teach and is doing her internship and will graduate in December of this year. Mariah's 1st day of College is today. What's different in Mariah's case is she's the ONLY kid from Pocola going to OSU this year! I was proud before but even more so now. She's setting the bar high for her fellow classmates and her siblings and doing a fine job of it. How scary is it to head off to such a Great Big Place and take noone with you. . . It's a first for my kiddios. Kaelin is in the 10th and settling in nicely. She's just greatful to not be a fre...

Wow, just when I think I'm over this, I'm right back there. And I never know why I slide back there, I just do. I'm so sick and tired of working my life away, never seeing my kids, enjoying the things they do or even enjoying watching them do things. All my life I've felt as though my kids should wear shirts that say, "My mom won't be here, she's working." I think of all the things I've missed and all the things I continue to miss, because my ASS has to go to the office and work. No vacation, no PTO always having to work. Now none of this would bother me half as bad, if all the freaking parties involved would pull their damm share and work too. Bill and Melissa both are able bodies, capable of working, BUT WON'T ! I'd love to just say. . . You know what, I think I'll just stay home, and if I do there is no paycheck and no paycheck for me, means none for you. . . I'm sick and tired of parents who put all the responcibility of providi...

I'm sure it's because she is my last baby at home, that this year is speeding by. Everything we do, there's this under lying sadness because we know it's a last. I watch her even when she doesn't know I'm watching. I want these days to be burned into my mind. I know we will see these things again with the little ones, but it's different with Mariah, she's been our baby, we have raised her and guided her, and been there when life's carpet has been pulled out from underneath her feet. We have laughed with her, cried with her, screamed at her and cheered her on. . . She is the closest we have ever had to being ours. We have watched her grow from a little girl to a little woman. We have seen her friends come and go and those that have always been there. I've seen her comfort little ones as well as her mother, I've seen her stand up for the injustices of the world and tears flow at the sadness that life sometimes brings. Soon she will be applying ...

You know you're old when leaving for work one morning you notice a Neon Pink Penis on your daughters car back window and you're COMPLETELY appalled ! ! ! And then I call her to tell her I want it removed NOW and she says, Mom, calm down, I'm going to go wash my car on Wednesday on payday. So now I wait for that inevitable call from the school, because I'm pretty sure they are not going to let Mariah park a pink penis in the parking lot for the next 3 days. . . Yea'll I'm pretty sure about that.

Today is the day where it will all change. I sent my youngest off to her 1st day of Sr Year of High School. . . From here on things will be so different. Happy and yet sad too. You think about this day your whole life and then when it arrives, you can't believe how fast it got here. . .

It really does seem like yesterday, when I stood in the doorway watching Mariah play with her barbies in her doll house and now, well now that barbie playing baby is 17! She was such a busy kid, from sun up to sun down and if I EVER got her still for 2 minutes, she was out. Now she's grown, starting her Sr. Year in less than a month and I'm going to be seeing a lot of "lasts". Last time she does homework late and last band season and last high school boyfriends and nights out with her high school girlfriends. She looks like me and acts a lot like I used to. But I don't hold that against her, because she's going to be GREAT ! ! ! She's going to go do College and Life, like its never been done before, and I'm going to have the best time in life watching it all go down. I love this baby, she's the very air I breath most days, and the other days, well lets just say, I love her those days too. . .

It doesn't really matter what happens in life, life just moves on. It doesn't care if you're ready or not. . . it just moves on. And this is my life, just like everyone else's. Summer is burning up and not just the temps, although we have hit triple digits in June, that is usually saved for August or at least late July, it came hard and heavy and fast this summer. But the days are just zooming by. I don't see my children much, and I miss them, I miss them terribly. Leslie is this "GROWN UP" I hardly recognize, Bethaney is enjoying the sunshine and her siblings and seeing and spending time with friends. Mariah has not a care in the world. She's loving nothing but working and sleeping, a teen-agers dream! Me and Bob, well most days we just exist. In the same space we call "Our Home". It's not that there's ugliness between us, there just not a lot between us. We don't really fight, we barely talk, we manage the day, the way we should...

Well a few days have past, but not the hurt or betrayal. He seems to think that it should, that it could but I can hardly breath, let alone think of forgiveness. What was I even thinking. . . I willingly entered this relationship knowing full well what I was walking into. Nothing could be further from the truth. . .

It seems like only yesterday. . . how many times in life do we hear this phrase. Well no truer words have ever been spoken. It seems like yesterday my Daughter was brand spanking new, and now she's 22, in her soon to be last semester of college. And my Boo, so grown up at 21 and already has that "Teacher" look and my babe Mariah, who in 3 days............ will be a Sr. in High School. So many, many changes over the last year. Poppa is not doing well and has been in two different hospitals over the last 6 weeks. I'm starting to believe that he will never see the outside world again. For every hurdle he conquers, another takes him off his feet. He is such a warrior but has been severely beaten in this latest battle. Lisa stays with him and Nana through the week and I go down and stay the weekends. I love our time together and hate if I have to miss no matter what the reason. It's just like our special time we used to spend when I was little and traveled with him acr...

Wow, the home computer system went down and so did my world! Never knew I was a tech nut, till I lost my nut. . . Summer is over and school started and the kids all flew in different directions. Leslie returned from LA and I can only guess that was hard because she had become a real Cali girl. She fit in like she had been there her whole life. It's no wonder that she was offered a job before she left. She feel in love with LA and LA feel in love with my little Greaser Anne. Bethaney and Mariah flew out to LA and stayed with Leslie her last week there. It was the 1st time either one of them flew and just watching them go through security at the airport made me sick. Mya of course got busted in security because her bag was loaded with EVERYTHING you can't take on a plane! I almost cried watching from the sideline, I had no idea what was happening or why she had been detained and I was FREAKING. They both enjoyed flying but for some reason Mariah didn't care for security. T...

Didn't I just blog yesterday ? ? ? That's what I always say about time, wasn't that just yesterday? Days and Nights have just become a blur and summer has come to an end. All the kids are heading back to school in 2 weeks or less and yet I've only been swimming once. I wish I had the key to turn back or at least slow down time. I just attended my 25th High School Reunion, and I couldn't believe how 25 years had passed. My girl friends looked like my girl friends from High School, but I could hardly recognise the boys. I had to look close, and could only see it in their eyes. My baby turned 16 and wasn't it just yesterday when I held her in my arms thinking, how tiny she is. All the questions she asked as a child, always needed an answer, and not sure why because in her little mind she already had one, but just needed to check it against mine. I clearly remember pony tails and tiny flip flops and always putting hair bows in the girls hair. Homework and bedtime st...

A question older than time. . .How do you heal a broken heart ? I wish I had this answer, and not because I could make a million dollars selling to anyone and everyone, but I wish I had this answer to help my own children. Time works, but never fast enough. There is no greater pain for a parent that seeing your child "Heart Broken". No words comfort, no tissue dries and no hugs diminish, the hurt of a broken heart. I remember similar walks myself, but as much as that hurt, its only a drop in an ocean of tears, compared to that of your child's. I can't "make it better" for Mariah right now and I can't erase the pain and make the nightmares that haunt her sleep, go away. All I can do is wait, watch and listen. Wait for her to be ready to talk. Watch for her to sleep, or to see a small smile. And listen for the happiness to return to her voice, to hear her laughter that always fills any room she is in.

Wow, where did the quiet moments go ? Even though we are "Kid Free" this summer, we do nothing but go, go, go, do, do, do! What's with that? I guess if you're going to be "Kid Free", tell no one ............ Leslie fit right in, in LA, after a brief bout of homesickness, she fell right into the swing of life in Cali. She's grown into such a BEAUTIFUL woman, she makes me gush with pride. I look at her and think, "Wow, she really is an amazing woman!" Bethaney, my poor, sweet Boo ! She has worked her butt off already, and I guess if she wasn't in such GREAT physical shape, she would of gone under, but to say that kid is FIT, well that's just a big understatement! Mariah is having a quiet, slow, soft summer. She's never been so still in her whole life. I miss her like CRAZY, but she seems very happy with her summer life. She misses her friends, her sisters and even her job, but she laughs a lot and seems to be finding herself. I just h...

Another Month is down and all the kids are out of school. Leslie is heading to LA, that's California, to do her internship. The thought of this only makes me ill. I mean how can you yank a small town girl and throw her into a GREAT BIG CITY ? If any of them had to go, Leslie would be my choice. She's going to have the time of her life and this is the next big thing to traveling out of the country. Bethaney will be alone for the first time since she left for college. This will be a wonderful time for her also, a real growing experience. She'll be so busy with classes and work, that she won't even notice for a long time, that Leslie isn't there. Mariah is going to her Dad's for the whole summer. I HATE THIS, but I've always hated sharing Mariah. Not that sharing is bad, but where she has to stay and how she has to live, that's what I hate. I hate that she's excited about leaving me. I'm happy, if she's happy, really. Kaelin and Alissa and Chris...

We just passed another mile stone. Kaelin is now 13 and a full blood "Teen" and our only boy, Christian, is now a great big 4 years old. We are in the last 9 weeks of school and even less than that at college. Leslie had the realization just the other night that she's almost, about to enter her FINAL year in College. Beth coming in at a fast second, we'll be there before we know it. Oh but Ms. Mariah is entering the scariest phase, she's LEARNING how to drive. Maybe Alissa will be able to show her a thing or two, after all, she is the smartest 7 year old we know ! ! !

There doesn't always seem to be justice in this crazy world we live in, but every now and then, THERE IS ! ! ! We are pretty well tormented by Bob's Ex on a regular basis, basically if she's miserable, everyone else must be also. She most recently drug us to court to get a "Restraining Order" against me. She's CRAZY, and that's what the Judge thinks also. So for once, even though she wants us to lose, lose, lose..... We win, win, win ! ! ! In your face you MEAN, HATEFUL Woman.................

We just celebrated our 2nd Anniversary and it seemed as though a lot more time has gone by. Not necessarily a bad thing, just strange maybe. The kids, every last one of them, are ready for Spring Break and I'm so jealous because I wish I got "Spring Break". Bobby has been busy on FaceBook, maybe a little too busy. FaceBook is fun for those who are keeping in touch with family, especially teenage and grown children, but its not always a great place to go and find old friends.

Wow 2008 finished out with a bang. We survived, Poppa did just barely. There was a point where we were told by his Doctors, "To say our good-byes". He endured so much this past year, going into full blown rejection. I can't describe to you the spiritual journey that sent so many of us on. To come to the realization that I may have to let my father go, was the most painful moment in my life. To come through that on the other side, brings joy that cannot be measured. Our time here is so short and as I get older, that becomes so REAL. We had an amazing Thanksgiving, sponsoring it at our home this year. The little ones weren't there and that was sad, but in order to get them for Christmas, we had to give up Thanksgiving, which was harder on them, because even when me and Bobby were just dating, we had that Holiday with my family. Its the one Holiday my family comes together. They love the cousin time, just as much as we love "Moms Day Out". Christmas was so exci...