So Much HAS Changed. . .

It seems like only yesterday. . . how many times in life do we hear this phrase. Well no truer words have ever been spoken.

It seems like yesterday my Daughter was brand spanking new, and now she's 22, in her soon to be last semester of college. And my Boo, so grown up at 21 and already has that "Teacher" look and my babe Mariah, who in 3 days............ will be a Sr. in High School.



So many, many changes over the last year. Poppa is not doing well and has been in two different hospitals over the last 6 weeks. I'm starting to believe that he will never see the outside world again. For every hurdle he conquers, another takes him off his feet. He is such a warrior but has been severely beaten in this latest battle. Lisa stays with him and Nana through the week and I go down and stay the weekends. I love our time together and hate if I have to miss no matter what the reason. It's just like our special time we used to spend when I was little and traveled with him across the great state of Oklahoma. We used to have the best car trips and we always played trivia games where he would ask me all kinds of crazy questions and I loved learning as much as he did, and I always felt smarter after our trips, the thing is almost everyone ALREADY knew the things I would learn, but I was a bit of an "air head" as a kid, still am. . .
Now I spend my time with him in quiet because he rests a lot and he needs it. The hospital is no place for sleep. I watch him and I hang on every word he says, always afraid he may not say anymore.

My marriage has suffered greatly, not because of Poppa, but because I knowingly married an addict. Not a drug addict, nor an alcoholic but a sex addict. The worse kind of addict for EVERYONE involved. You see it's just so damaging for everyone. It's a secretive, kept hush hush kind of addiction. Nobody talks about it, hell most don't even acknowledge it. I've watched it destroy my marriage, strip away everything I held dear. I never knew my world could be rocked so hard and one survive. I guess my life experiences that I have walked through thus far, were a stepping stone for what I must now endure.
My whole life is about to change, my children's life is about to change and I just can't believe I have to go through another DIVORCE. . .

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